I’m the worst type of “celebrity”. I’ve had a taste of the life and now I want more. Except I’m rusty; I haven’t been on TV in 15 years! My last screen role was before I’d reached puberty – before I developed breasts, before all the spots, and long before I stopped being considered “cute”. My television career was going from strength to strength until then. Why did I have to get old?

A little bit about myself. I’m Fiona, 26 (which might as well be 30), former child star most famous for my role in ———–. I live in a 3 bedroom house in a rough part of Manchester, called Moston. I have 2 housemates who are both still in their teens and madly inlove with each other, and every now and then a stray cat wanders into the house through an open window, and stays with us for a few days, then disappears.

I’m single and because of this I eat lots of Haagen Daaz (only when it’s on special offer in Asda) and am now overweight. I’ve been on a string of dates which have either ended badly or never began. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve been stood up. Generally I try not to agree to blind dates arranged by Trisha; she’s my best mate and fellow child star, only she made the transition from child star to adult star without ever being out of work.

I work as a receptionist part time, so that I have time to go to auditions if and when they come up. Only, they never do. That’s my agent’s fault. She’s useless, and I tell her so everytime I speak to her. She has three clients besides me and none of them have had any work in years. We keep meaning to fire her and look for other representation but the fact is, no one will want us. We’re all as rusty as each other, and our only claim to fame is that we are the products of our successful youth.

I know, it’s a very sad thought.

I’ll probably be moving back to London in a year; my agent thinks it’s the best thing for my career. But I just think it’ll plunge me deeper into debt. Oh, I’m in debt too, didn’t I tell you?

This seems like a good time to wrap this post up for the day. I’ll aim to write every 2 or so days, depending on how much exciting stuff has happened to me. I have an appointment with my agent tomorrow, in London, so let’s hope she has something new for me.